three years ago, today..

Bilakah kutemui lagi jiwa murni seperti dia?

Aku minta sebelum mati jatiku diisi dengan cintanya..
 

Hmm.. I’m more Magneto than Luthor..

Your results:
You are Magneto

Magneto 70% Poison Ivy 65% Mr. Freeze 64% Apocalypse 62% Lex Luthor 58% The Joker 55% Dr. Doom 55% Catwoman 53% Mystique 52% Dark Phoenix 49% Green Goblin 48% Two-Face 44% Riddler 41% Venom 36% Juggernaut 32% Kingpin 31%

You fear the persecution of those that are different or underprivileged so much that you are willing to fight and hurt others for your cause.

Click here to take the “Which Super Villain are you?” quiz…

b.l.a.c.t.

 You stupid bitch!

[Gila kamu menjual dirimu serendah itu.. Kamu mahal, tapi kamu obral.. Murah..

Murahan! Gila kamu..!]

Men don’t appreciate you, they disrespect you. They don’t admire you, only how you look. And you don’t look good inside. Even you know that. If only eyes can see beyond flesh and fabric. You are not who you seem to be. But you cover yourself up so they wouldn’t know. You try hard.. Its a secret that you guard..

Yet, you let a little show. Because you don’t care. And you let it show to fool them into thinking that’s all there is. That’s all you are. But there’s more. So much more. And they fall for it. And you like that. No.., you need that. You don’t love them. You need them. All and everyone of them. All of their attention. All that they can give. Because you are lonely. And because you are poor inside.. You long, you yearn and you crave.. That dry and empty void inside of you. Itching..

Some know this, and with their heart’s eyes they see. And you plea them to accept you as you are. But they can’t, because, in reality, even you cannot accept yourself as you are.. And you have not.. You’ve been running away all this time..

Others also know this, but they exploit you. They use you.. They give you what you want. They don’t love you, the own you. Nothing but an object. And you fool yourself into thinking otherwise. And you give back. You give up, and you give in.. All of you.. Because you don’t care..

Because, you don’t appreciate yourself. You have lost your worth.. All that is precious and beautiful..

But no matter how many men you think you have, how great they are, how much you receive, how much fun you’re going through, you would still be lonely.. Because after you’ve got what you think you need, it doesn’t stop the pain.. And it hasn’t stopped the pain.. And after all that you’ve given, you have gained nothing.. You are no better..

But it doesn’t matter. And you don’t care..

[Liar..]

No.. you do care..

Because you know, that you are lonely…

Still alone..

[Why have you come?] 

Tired..

 [I hate you for it.]

Confused..

And you hate yourself and your life..

It breaks my heart..

[I loved, damn you.]

Because, we are the same..

[Because I am lonely..]

But you don’t understand. You can’t and you won’t..

[I wish I never knew you..]

I tried..

[My life is better without you..]

But..

[I forgive you..]

 

Gestalt Prayer..

I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I,
and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.
If not, it can’t be helped.
(Fritz Perls, 1969)

Fireborne..

Lalu

Ia datang..

Aku minta sedikit

Sedikit saja cukup

Untuk merentang aku dari dagingku

Meretak tulang rangkaku

Membakar semuanya

Hingga aku bersinar

Asapku membumbung tinggi

Dan keharumannya dinikmati Bintang

-akhir maret 2003-

Fresh..!

 Been meaning to do this for a long loooong time..

[I told her, maybe I'm just not that kind of person.

She said, you are.]

So, here goes..

[Thanks, Rin.]